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I really really wanted to title this, “Bloody Freakin’ Genius Chocolate Mousse,” but that a) might have sounded a bit rude to the more sensitive among you (sorry), and you might have clicked away; and b) it might have sounded a bit hyperbolic – and you might have clicked away, this time shaking your head at the egotism the title implies.

But, I am not the genius. Someone else is. {It may be this person.} Someone whose hand I wish to give a hearty shake, and on whose cheek I wish to give a chocolate-scented kiss. Folks, you may wish to be sitting when I tell you this.

The secret, the magic, well, it is *drum roll* chickpea liquid.

I know, yes, the icky goo that you pour down the drain. It sounds utterly bonkers; and my brain is still recovering from trying this and it absolutely, 100 per cent, working. But work…